


Zelda's Diary

by CookieWaffle



Category: LOZ - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Zelink - Fandom, botw - Fandom, loz botw - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, I love my depressed anxiety-ridden elf children, also Urbosa is gay af, botw, botw zelink - Freeform, cutesy romantic fluff, trans headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 10:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11146830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieWaffle/pseuds/CookieWaffle
Summary: The princess of hyrule keeps a diary recording some of the events that happened 100 years ago before the great calamity and the devolping relationship between her and her appointed knight.





	Zelda's Diary

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a hella long time since my last fic so my writing skills may be a bit rusty. But I'm still pretty proud of this and I hope you enjoy this sappy romantic mess I wrote for you all. (just please don't expect this to be 10/10 A+ writing, I just wrote this because I wanted to write something romantic, I'm not even sure theres a plot in this thing lmao)

ENTRY #1  
     If I must be perfectly honest, I'm not too fond of my appointed night. Usually I prefer to do my research alone and maybe once in a while having Urbosa with me. But ever since Link entered my life I've hardly had any privacy outside of the castle. I wouldn't mind it so much if Link was actually interesting to talk to. But no, he never speaks, never shows any emotion, and he even has this blank stare sometimes that almost looks like he's spacing out which in all honesty is starting to kind of creep me out.   
      I'm sure it's not his intention and I know this is his job and neither of us have any say in the matter, but being around him makes me so anxious sometimes. I can never tell what he's thinking, and I can't help but feel like he's silently judging me. I've been training to awaken my power for most my life and Link was able to pull that sword as if it were nothing! He probably sees me as weak. And if he did I wouldn't blame him.... Link has only been my appointed knight for a few days and things are already starting to get a little too awkward. But... I guess I'll have to try my best to just deal with it for now. We are currently at the brink of war and I can't let something so trivial distract me from my duty.

___________________________________________  
ENTRY #2 

     I've been having a lot of anxiety lately, even more than I usually do. I know I have no right to complain, but it's all this pressure that has been making my anxiety almost unbearable as of late. And Link's constant presence has not been helping. I'd even go as far as to say his presence can be rather annoying at times. I've told him multiple times that he does not have to follow me everywhere I go and that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself!   
      But I really shouldn't place all the blame on Link... My father is the one who keeps sending him to look after me even when I don't want him too. And I know for a fact that I would never be able to discuss this with him. My father can be so FRUSTRATING to deal with! He never listens to what I have to say! All he cares about is my training! I can't even remember the last time he we talked and he wasn't scolding me for not training hard enough or getting "distracted". Goddesses, sometimes it feels like he doesn't even see me as his daughter anymore...  
    Ugh, but I shouldn't speak so selfishly... We're all under a great amount of pressure here and me feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help stop Ganon. It's a good thing nobody reads this diary because they'd probably think I was just being some selfish moody teenager who only thinks about herself, though I really try not to be. It's just hard sometimes... I have to fight through it though! No matter how bad things get!___________________________________________

ENTRY #3  
     I did something terrible today... I yelled at him... I was just so frustrated and depressed today and wrongfully let out my pent up frustration on Link. He didn't deserve to be yelled at, he was just following orders and had no ill intent. But I just lost control of my emotions for a moment and snapped at him. I feel so guilty and he probably hates me now even more than he already did before.   
    It's been a long, frustrating, and emotionally draining day for me and to top it off I feel an immense amount of guilt for what I did. I am going to try to apologize. Not today though. I'm still not ready too look him in the face after that.  
_________________________________________  
   ENTRY #4  
   He saved my life today.... I was certain I was going to die. The Yiga clan had me trapped. But Link saved me. Even after I've been such a pain to him he still defended me with his life without hesitation. And what have I done? I've only been acting resentful towards him. I'm going to change that. Tomorrow I shall make a formal apology to him for my outburst the other day. It's the least I could do.  
    And maybe.... I could try to get to know him more. I want to try to develop a better relationship with him so that it's not so awkward when we are around each other. But I have no idea how! He just seems so shut off from the world! I have no idea how I would be able to start off a conversation with him. But... if I remember correctly, Mipha did mentions that her and Link have known each other since childhood. Maybe I could get some advice from her tomorrow? Alright then, I will move my apology from tomorrow to the day after tomorrow so that I can make time to talk with Mipha about this in private.  
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #5  
    What Mipha had told me today I was not what I expected at all...   
   "Mipha, I need some advice for getting to know Link. I'm trying to improve our relationship, but he always seems so distant." I explained.  
      Mipha looked at me with a puzzled look on het face, "That... doesn't sound like the Linny know... I'll admit that it's been quite a while since I last spent time alone with him since he's around you so often, but I do know that that's not usual behavior for my Linny. He's actually quite emotional and even a bit silly sometimes."  
    This response took me back a bit. Extroverted???? The last words I would ever use to describe Link are "emotional" and "silly".  
      Mipha continued, "I mean sure he can be a bit shy someti-" she stopped mid sentence as if something had suddenly occurred to her. "Oh no... no no no... This is bad..."  
     "What's wrong?" I asked concerned  
      Mipha then asked, "Does he ever seem like he's spacing out or have a completely blank expression on his face? And does he have a lot of trouble with speaking?"  
     "Yes... All the time in fact." I answered.  
    Mipha's expression suddenly looked very worried, "Oh no... just as I feared...." She then begain to explain in more detail, "You see... for the past few years Link has grown this habit of what I would call "shutting down emotionally" and going completely nonverbal when he gets anxious or tense. He uses it as some kind of coping mechanism I think. But usually when he's like this it doesn't last very long. But since your telling me that he's ALWAYS like this then something must be really upsetting him and to be honest I'm very worried about him now. He's shouldn't be bottling up his emotions for that long, it can't be good for his mental health!"  
      I was shocked to hear this to say the least. And then I suddenly felt even more guilty. I should never have judged him the way I did. And to think that I was the one who felt anxious and uncomfortable in his presence.... I'm such a selfish idiot...   
      Mipha let out a sigh, "I'm not sure how you'd be able to get him to open up. It's easy for me because I've known him since we were little but as for you, I'm not sure." She paused for a while to think, "I guess... the only advice I could give is to try not to pressure him into speaking. He hates it when people do that and it just makes him even more upset. He'll speak to you when he's ready." Mipha sighed again, "I wish I could spend more time with him so I could help him out of his shell."  
    "I should never have judged him... I had no idea..." I started, "I'm probably the one making him upset too... I haven't exactly been very warm and welcoming towards him. And I wouldn't blame him at all if he hated me..."  
    "You think he hates you?" Mipha said surprised. She let out a little chuckled, "Linny would never hate you, he may seem cold and distant when he's in the state his is now but he's actually incredibly sweet and forgiving. And I highly doubt that he'd ever hate you. Don't worry Zelda, I know he doesn't hate you. Just give him some time."  
    "I hope you're right Mipha...."  
The info she provided me will be ver useful for tomorrow. But... I still feel like theres a chance things could go bad... I just hope it’s only my irrational anxiety this time.  
__________________________________________  
ENTRY #6  
    I am happy to say that today went much better than I expected. I had taken Link aside so I could talk to him privately.  
      I tried to make it quick, "Link. I feel I must make you a sincere apology for acting the way I did three days ago. It was very immature of me and I promise I will not let it happen again."  
      Link looked at me for a while not saying a word as usual.   
      I tried to break the awkward silence by saying something else, "And I also wanted to let you know.... I'm sorry for being so resentful towards you since we met. And if you hold any resent towards me because of it... it is completely justified."     
     He still remained silent, but this time he was staring at the ground, biting his bottom lip, and fiddling with one of his earrings. And I think, although I'm mot sure, that I saw his ears get slightly red. This was new. I had never seen him do this before. And although it was a bit odd, it was at least something other than a blank stare.  
     I didn't want to make him feel too uncomfortable so I was about to make my leave. But just when turned my back and was about to walk away I heard a very soft, barely audible voice.  
     "I don't resent you..."   
    That couldn't possibly be what he sounded like. There's no way. I had always imagined his voice sounding deeper and confident. But I was wrong! His voice, although quiet, was soft and sweet like honey. I turned around to face him again. He was still staring at the ground and fiddling with his earring.  
     "I'm.... Sorry I made you so uncomfortable.... I'll try to stop..." Link mumbled.  
     I replied, "It's okay Link. There's no need to apologize to me. You were just doing your job and I was just being a brat. Oh and Link," I added, "I was thinking... Could we try to get to know each other more? I feel like if we improved our relationship it would make things easier for the both of us."  
      Link was silent again for a moment before replying, "okay... I'll try...".  
      That's all I could get out of him for the day, but it was at least a start.  
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #7  
      I'm not going to lie, things went back to being awkward like before for a while and I had started to lose hope. Until I finally asked him.  
    "Link, please be honest, do I make you... upset? I spoke to Mipha the other day and she mentioned that you get um... quiet... when you're anxious or tense."  
      Link's face and ears suddenly turned bright red and I was afraid I had said something wrong.   
    I tried to fix the situation by saying, "I'm sorry... You don't have to answer now if you don't want to."  
     Link bit his bottom lip and started to fiddle with his earring again, this time a bit more aggressively.   
     "I'm.... I'm so sorry! It's not you it was never you..." Link said in a quiet voice. He then took a deep breath, "It's just... The pressure of the entire kingdom relying on me, everyone looking up to me, expecting me to be a great hero.... It can be a bit much even for me... And not only that, everything I say and do now has consequences, so I guess in a way it's better for me to keep my mouth shut ya know?"  
      "I know exactly how you feel" I replied. I was not expecting to relate to him so much... And now I feel even worse about judging him the way I did before.   
      Link did not speak for the rest of the day.  
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #8  
     That damn horse is going to kill me one of these days I swear! Every time I try to mount Rarity he makes a big fuss and today he kicked me in the ribs and it hurt like hell! It's just a bruise and it should go away after a few days but I'm still mad! Me and that beast have never really seen eye to eye I guess. I wish I had Link's gift for being able to tame any horse. Oh yea... I forgot to mention that. Link is absolutely amazing with horses! Today he showed me how he can sneak up behind a wild horse, jump on it's back and tame it within only a few seconds! He was amazing! Link is turning out to be a much more interesting person than I thought. I'm glad I decided to try and get to know him better! Although he didn't speak today, I still feel like it was a good day for us (until that damn horse kicked me in the ribs that is)  
    Hmmm.... maybe... maybe I could get Link to help me with Rarity tomorrow? If he's willing to put up with him that is.   
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #9  
    Link agreed helped me out with Rarity today! And he was able to speak to me a bit! I was hoping he would tame the beast himself, but he insisted that I would have to do it if I wanted a stronger bond with the horse. I was nervous about it but I tried anyways. He's clearly the expert with horses here so I trusted his judgement (mostly).  
      He said that I needed to be more patient with the horse and try to keep my cool. It was a challenge to say the least. When I thought I had gotten Rarity to calm down enough for me to mount him, right when I put my food in the stirrup he bolted off and I fell right on my arse!   
      And that's when I heard it, a faint giggle. I look around to see Link with a wide grin on his face trying his best not to completely lose it. But for some reason it didn't make me mad. I've never seen Link smile before and I've definitely never heard him laugh. I was intrigued by it. I couldn't stop looking at his smile. And the way that his entire face lights up when he laughs. And his laugh, goddesses that laugh was so infectious I had to make an effort to try not  start laughing myself.  
     There was just something about seeing him so happy that made me feel good.   
      But then we he saw that I was looking he immediately stopped and had a mortified look on his face.  
       "I'm.... I'm so sorry! I'll never do it again I promise!" His voice sounded more panicked than it usually did.  
        "No no it's fine!" I reassured him, "It was a bit funny." I added with a chuckle.   
       "No... It's not okay... I went against my training... Knights are not supposed to laugh on duty... I was trained not to... especially not at you..." He said as he started to aggressively fiddle with one of his earrings again.   
     "Oh..." I replied, "Well... you know what Link? I let you do it around me okay! Besides, I like your laugh, it's really cute!"  
     Link's face and ears went bright red. I've noticed these past few days he blushes a lot, but so far I've never seen him blush THIS much.   
      It took me a while to realize what I just said, "SHIT!" I thought to myself. "I'm am such goddamn idiot, why did I say it like that!?"  
       "Uhhh I mean cute in a "aawww how adorable" way not cute in the "I'm attracted to you way" heh". Now MY face and ears where bright red.   
       "Y-Yea... I know it's fine really!" Link replied sheepishly.  
    He didn't speak for the rest of the day, but I did finally manage to mount Rarity without too much fuss! So at least theres that. However I know I'll still need to work with him. And hopefully Link will be willing to help me out even after that... awkward conversation....  
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #10  
     I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I actually quite enjoy being around Link now. And he's been opening up to me more and more recently! Today he offered to make me lunch, which was sweet of him. Apparently he has a passion for cooking and is quite skilled at it! But as for his table manners.... sheesh.... He's so sloppy! He just shoved everything in his mouth with his bare hands... And not only that, he's quite the glutton as well! I don't think I've ever seen someone who eats quite as much as Link does! But instead of finding it gross I actually find it quite amusing for some reason.  
      We were even able to talk a bit over lunch, and I discovered that he actually has a good sense of humor! He told me some funny stories from when he was little and kept making awful puns, I was in hysterics!   
      Link's true personality that Mipha was talking about is finally starting to shine through as he gets more and more comfortable with being around me! And I must I say that I've grown much more comfortable around him as well!   
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #11  
      He fell asleep on the job today. I was looking as some ruins for a while and when I turned to look at Link he was fast asleep under a tree. My father would have given him a real tongue lashing if he found out but I didn't care. Plus I think he needed the rest. Something about him today told me he did not get very good sleep last night. I'm not sure what it was but he just seemed less focused than he usually does, so I thought a little nap just this once wouldn't hurt. And if I had seen anyone nearby I would have woken him up before they saw. The area that were were in was usually pretty safe anyways. So I wasn't worried about being attacked by anything.  
       It's strange, I never really got a good look at Link's face till now. Before I always tried to avoid speaking face to face with him with and even after we started to get to know each other usually he's staring at the ground not making eye contact. But now that he was asleep I finally was able to get a good look at him, and I noticed a few things I hadn't before. Like how his cheeks and ears always had a faint blush on them, and how long and thick his eyelashes are. I don't think I've ever seen someone with eyelashes that looked like that naturally. (Does Link wear makeup I wonder?) And his features are so soft that if I didn't know any better, I'd honestly think Link was a girl. And his body looks so small and delicate, you'd never think he was a highly skilled knight just by looking at him. He also seems to have a slight overbite, which might explain why he bites his bottom lip so often.   
       But the biggest thing I took notice to was how young he looked. Usually younger knights are around their early to mid-20s, but Link looked like he could possibly be around my age! How did he keep himself looking that young? I'm only sixteen and I'm already getting a few gray hairs from stress!   
        Link looked so peaceful in his sleep. And for a moment it felt like nothing was wrong with the world. But then I think he must have sensed my presence when he started wake up. He stretched and yawned  before opening his eyes in way that reminded me of how a sleepy puppy would and I couldn't help but smile.   
        "Enjoy your nap sleepyhead?" I said with a chuckle.  
        Link immediately shot up with a horrified expression on his face.   
       "Oh shi-, I'm... I'M SO SORRY!" In the blink of an eye Link went from looking completely at peace to more tense than I've ever seen him. "I-I won't let it happen a-" he stopped mid sentence. Then he went completely quiet. I could tell he was shutting down again.   
        "No no Link it's okay really! You don't have to apologize!" I tried reassuring him.  
         Link attempted to speak again, this time in a barely audible voice "I... went against protocol.. If the king finds out he-" Link stopped mid sentence again.   
       "Don't worry, I wont tell my father. It will be our little secret okay?" I tried reassuring him again, " Besides, I think you needed the rest."   
       Link just gave a silent nod. He didn't speak or show much emotion for the rest of the day. I felt bad. Even though I know it wasn't really my fault, in a way I still feel like it was? I really hope that he feels better tomorrow.  
_____________________________________________

ENTRY #12  
        Link still didn't feel like speaking today but he was more lively so he is starting to feel a bit better! This morning I was showing him some of the different flower species found around Hyrule, I even came across a Silent Princess! Link seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying too! And I also managed to catch a hot-footed frog! I got so excited that I tried to convince Link to eat it to test it's medicinal properties. He passed. I'll admit that I can be quite foolish when I get exited sometimes...  
       At around noon we stopped for a picnic. Link made lunch again and he made me my favorite, fruitcake! He really is sweet. He blushed when I praised him for his superb cooking skills. And I even got him to laugh again today! I told him some joke about cuccos or something (I don't really remember what it was) and it made him go into hysterics. It made me so happy to hear him laugh again. There's just something about Link that I can't seem to describe. He's just so pleasant to be around now. And to think that a week ago just him standing around me made me anxious...   
_____________________________________________  
ENRTY #13  
      Link has been so kind to me lately so I felt like I should give him something in return today. But the only two things I knew that he liked were horses and food. At first I thought about making lunch this time but then I remembered that I've never been the best cook, and whatever I made would never compare to Link's dishes. Then I thought about getting him a nice saddle for his horse Epona. But he probably has more than enough horse gear already. So I decided to go to Mipha for advice again.   
      First I explained how Link seemed to be getting much more comfortable around me and she was very pleased to hear that. Then I asked her suggestions of what to give him as a gift.  
       "Well Linny isn't too picky when it comes to gifts so you could really give him anything and he'd be grateful." she started, "But if you want to get him something he likes specifically, I guess you could get him a stuffed animal."  
      "A a stuffed animal? I would never have guessed he'd want that" I said with a chuckle.  
      "Yes, Linny loves cute things!" Mipha responded cheerfully, "He also likes jewelry, but I already got him those blue earrings he always wears for his last birthday."  
      "Jewelry?" I asked.  
       Mipha replied, "Yes, Linny has always been a lot more expressive about his feminine side than most other men are. Personally I actually find it... kind of attractive... But er, don't tell him I said that okay?" She blushed slightly.   
        I let out a little giggle, "Don't worry Mipha your secret is safe with me. Oh, that reminds me, does Link wear makeup?"  
        Mipha replied "I don' think so. He doesn't really have the patience to put on makeup every morning."  
        So his eyelashes really are that pretty? And his cheeks and ears are just naturally rosey like that? Without any artificial enhancement? My goodness...  
        After that conversation I asked one of the castle servants to go into castle town market to find a stuffed toy horse, preferably one that looked similar to Epona. I would have gone myself but I can't leave the castle without my father sending Link after me. And I wanted this to be a surprise.   
         The servant returned with exactly what I wanted and I tipped her with silver rupee. Before I headed off to give Link his gift. I knocked the door of his room and waited. Not long after I heard the door creek open and two turquoise colored eyes peeped out from behind it.   
         "Hello Link!" I said cheerfully.  
          "Princess... I was not expecting you..." Link responded softly as he opened the door the rest of the way.  I noticed that his hair was not in it's usual ponytail for once. His golden locks flowed down to his shoulders, giving him an even more feminine appearance. And I'd be lying if I said he didn't actually look quite beautiful.  
           "oh good, he's finally feeling well enough to speak to me again" I thought to myself. "I came to bring you something!" I told him.  
         Link just looked silently at me with an almost puzzled expression.   
           "I just wanted to get you something special as a thanks for being so kind to me." I said as I handed him the stuffed animal.  
         Link's entire face lit up. "Oh my gosh! It's so cute! And she looks just like Epona!"   
          His eyes were sparkling with joy. (Goddesses, were his eyes always that beautiful?)  
         "Aw you... You didn't have to honestly..." he said softly as he stroked the horse's mane.   
         "Oh no, it was my pleasure Li-" I couldn't even finish what I was about to say before he lunged over and embraced me. I can't find the words to exactly explain how I felt. My heart started beating at a million miles per hour, my face felt red hot. Feeling his arms around me, feeling his body pressed up against mine... His hair faintly smelling like Hyrule Herb, It just... set off some kind of fire within me. For a second I even thought I might have been my divine power finally awakening, but now that I think of it that was a silly thought. It was an unfamiliar feeling but... I liked it. I liked it a lot. But to my dismay, when Link realized he was breaking protocol had done he quickly pulled away.   
       "OH NO, I'M SORRY, I LOST CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS AGAIN I'M-"  
     Oh no, He was shutting down again.  
      I quickly tried to resolve the issue by saying, "Link it's okay! You don't have to be sorry!"  
       Link said nothing, but he was blushing like mad and seemed to be clinging on to the stuffed animal I gave him for dear life. And he was biting his bottom lip so hard I was afraid he might make it bleed.   
       This time I didn't try to reassure him with words. Instead I tried something new and sort of risky. I embraced him back. He was clearly not expecting it and tensed up at first but after a few seconds he eventually relaxed. He returned to affection and wrapped his arms around me once again. We just stood there for a moment, not speaking a word. I wish it could have lasted forever. But of course, we eventually had to part. Link still didn't speak but he was clearly not as nervous as he was before. He thanked me once again and smiled softly. Although, I'm not sure if it was for the gift or for the hug.   
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #14   
      It is not uncommon for me to have strange dreams. Some are brought on by my fears and anxieties, some are completely neutral, and sometimes I think I may even have small visions. But last night's dream was different.   
     I was riding an ancient legendary bird from fairytales that my mother used to tell me when she was still alive. The bird is called a loftwing, if I remember correctly. Her feathers were a colored beautiful shade of blue and her huge powerful wings flew threw the air with grace an beauty. And Link was there with me. He had his own loftwing that was red like the one pictures on the Hylian shield. We danced through the skies together,  the wind blowing through my hair,  I've never felt so free! And it almost didn't even feel like I was the same person. I knew it was me, but at the same time it wasn't? Link seemed different too. He didn't look quite the same. But I could still sense that it was him. However at the time I didn't pay any mind to it. For once I was free from all the pressure and anxiety, free from all the pain and sadness. Link being there made me feel like home.   
        If I had the choice I would have stayed in that dream forever.  
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #15  
     I love Urbosa with all my heart but damn can she be a real pain in the arse sometimes! Today I was talking to her about my dream night, and the strange emotions I felt when Link embraced me. And in the middle of my story I caught a mischievous glint in her eye. Never a good thing when it comes to Urbosa. Then she said something absolutely RIDICULOUS.  
       "You have a crush on him" She said with a smirk.  
       "Wh-What?!" I replied shocked.  
        "Oh come on Zelly, I know a lovestruck teenager when I see one! I was one myself once you know." she chuckled.  
        "LOVESTRUCK?!" I shouted.   
      Urbosa let out a big hearty laugh, "Hylia in heaven! if only you could see how red your face is right now!"  
       How IRRITATING! She thinks I'm "lovestruck"????   
        "That is is ridiculous! I may be getting closer to Link it is purely platonic I can assure you that! Besides, he's too old for me anyways." I said flustered.  
         Urbosa paused. Looked at me with a surprised look on her face, then began to laugh again. "Too old for you? Zelly, he's like, barely a year older than you!"   
         "Wait, what?! He's only seventeen years old? I thought he was in his twenties!" I said in alarm, "I thought they didn't let anyone younger than eighteen years into the millitary?"  
           "They don't." Urbosa replied, "Link was a special case since he's so highly skilled. It may have also had to do with his father being a captain.   
           A knight at only seventeen? My goddess how young was he was he started training? Suddenly something in my stomach didn't feel quite right.   
           "You okay kid? You don't look too good" Urbosa asked.  
           "I'm fine... I... Have to go now" I needed some time to think.  
           "Alright kid. See ya later." Urbosa replied. And right when I was leaving she added, "Say hi to your boyfriend for me!"   
         UUUUUGH She drives me crazy sometimes!         
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #16   
    Today Link and I came up with a good way to communicate when he's "shutting down". When I was a little girl I was taught sign language. It is something that is mandatory for all the children in the royal family to learn. The reason for this is so that we will be able to understand and communicate with any subjects who are deaf or mute.  
      I got the idea that maybe I could teach Link sign language. When I asked him he seemed to like the idea. So started teaching him a bit today and I must say that he's already catching on quickly! And Link seems to be enjoying it quite a bit and that makes me happy. From now on I'll try to teach him a little bit more every day. But I'll have to do it in secret because if my father finds out he'll just scold me again for not focusing 100% on my training.   
_____________________________________________  
ENTRY #17  
      I had a panic attack today. And it was a bad one.... There were just too many stressful things going on for me that I just couldn't take it.   
       It started when Link and I had run into a Lynel while we were out doing research. We could have just run for it but that reckless idiot tried to fight it and got himself injured! The beast had struck him in the head and I thought he was dead! Fortunately he survived the blow and decided to ride back to the castle with me as fast as possible. His nose and jaw were badly broken but luckily Mipha was able to heal him completely.   
       I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my entire life! Even that time the Yiga Clan almost killed me didn't scare me as much as this did! What was that damn idiot thinking!? I would have given him a good chewing out while Mipha was healing him if I wasn't crying so hard I could barely speak. Oh who am I kidding.... This was all my fault. If I hadn't decided to go out researching today this would have never happened. I know it's Link's job to defend me with his life but this could have been avoided if I wasn't so stupid! And although he tried his best not to show it, Link was clearly in a great amount pain. (Who wouldn't be after an injury like that?)   
       And as if that wasn't enough drama for the day, my father gave me the scolding of a lifetime for this. I don't think I've ever seen him this furious with me. I can't even remember half the things he said! I was focusing too much on trying not to burst into tears. All I remember is hearing words like "disappointment" "failure" and "stupid careless girl". All things I’ve heard him say before, but this time they made me feel even worse than they usually do. After our "conversation" I went back to my room and just broke down and had a full-blown panic attack. One of the worse ones I've had. I don't know how long it lasted but by the time I had finally calmed down it was already almost supper. Which I didn't go to because I felt too ashamed. I was expecting to go to bed early without supper tonight but then about an hour ago Link came up to bring me something to eat. He's such a sweetheart and I honestly don't deserve his kindness. But he was still looking out for me even after what happened today. He did look much better than he did earlier but he must have still been at least a little sore. Mipha does have amazing healing abilities but even she probably can't 100% get rid of the pain from an injury that severe.   
        Link had came and left without speaking. He was probably exhausted from everything he had gone through. And so am I. I should really be getting to bed now. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep.  
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ENTRY #18  
        I was able to get some sleep last night but this morning I was still very shaken up because of what happened the other day. But Link, bless his heart, came to my rescue during today's sign language learning session. He had clearly seen how nervous I was even though I did try to hide it.  
         "You're trembling." He said to me with a worried expression on his face.  
         "I-I'm fine..." I replied, "A bit shaken up from yesterday, but I'll be fine."  
       Link didn't look convinced. "Would you mind if I showed you a breathing exercise? It sometimes helps me out when I'm feeling overwhelmed and they could possibly help you out too."  
       "Um, okay. Sure, I don'g see why not." I responded.  
       "Okay. Try inhaling through your nose for four seconds and then exhale completely through your mouth for eight seconds. Then hold your breath for 7 seconds." He instructed, "Try repeating this until you feel more relaxed."  
       I tried followed his instructions but I was having a lot of trouble because I was still trembling.  
        "Hey hey it's okay, I'll breathe with you. That might make it a bit easier" He said in a soft comforting voice.  
       He started to breathe with me while gently rubbing my back. And this time it actually worked, although I'm not sure if it was actually from the breathing exercise, Link's ever so sweet comforting voice, or his gentle touch that had calmed me down. His presence made me so feel safe.   
         "Th-Thank you Link..." I said sheepishly as I gazed into his turquoise blue eyes.   
         Link just gave a little nod and a sweet sincere smile. Hylia in heaven, how is it even possible for someone to be so... CUTE! Yes I'll finally admit it. Link is cute. And this time I mean it in the "I find you attractive" way. But that still doesn't mean I like him in the way that Urbosa thinks I do! I can acknowledge someone's attractiveness without being romantically interested in them! It's not like I can't seem to stop thinking about him or that I feel hypnotized by his gorgeous eyes, or that I think about how soft his beautiful golden hair must feel or....  
Oh damn it all! Urbosa was right, I am absolutely lovestruck with that boy...  
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ENTRY #19  
        I must find a way to keep Link out of my mind. This could potentially be a distraction from awakening my power. And if father found out about this... I'm not allowed to be romantically involved with anyone until after we defeat Ganon (If I don't fail everyone and not awaken my power in time that is). If my father finds out it won't just be me who gets in trouble this time, I could get Link into trouble as well. I'd probably just get a very loud and harsh scolding but as for Link.... Goddess I don't know what would happen to him...  
        I can never tell him either. Link must never know how I feel about him. We both have much more important things to focus on right now. And I don't even know if he shares my feelings! He probably doesn't.... If he chose to be with anyone it would probably be Mipha. They've known each other for much longer than I've known him. And Mipha has been supporting and looking out for him since the beginning. If they did end up together, I would hold no resentment towards Mipha, I know she would be good for him. Much better than I would be anyways. I'm just some stupid girl with a crush. He deserves better than me.   
        Oh gods why did this have to happen NOW of all times!? I've never been interested in boys before! Why now? I've never had time for romance or... Well any kind of relationship with anyone around my age really. These past few weeks are the most interaction I've had with anyone in my age group, (those people being Mipha and Link). Father never really let me spend much time playing with other children. I needed to study and train. I still had people who loved and cared for me like Impa, Purrah, Robbie, Urbosa, mother before she died, and even father was once gentile and kind to me. But as for other children, I rarely interacted with. The only other person I know who is close to my age is the royal poet who is only around 18 or 19 years old. But we rarely speak to each other. And he was just recently hired so I haven't known him for very long anyways. So up until now I've had little to no experience with relationships with people in my age group whether that be platonic or romantic. I always imagined that I'd just let my father pick out a suitor for me when the time came. But now that I know what being in love actually feels like, I'm not sure I want to do that anymore, even though the chances of me ever being with Link are so little.   
       It's an odd emotion really. It pains me greatly to know that I can't tell him how I feel but at the same time being in love makes me feel so happy. Every time I hear that sweet laugh my heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest, every time I hear is soft soothing voice I feel safe, and every time I look into those sparkling blue eye of his it feels like home. And those few times I've felt his gentile touch.... I felt as if I might just melt into his arms.  
         I wonder.... I wonder how soft those lips are... I wonder what it would feel like to hold him, what it would feel like if he fell asleep in my arms with his head rested on my chest as I ever so gently stroke his hair.   
         I should stop.... This is not right. but I can't stop. I can't stop loving him. Every time he's around me I feel like... I don't know, It's hard to describe. It's almost like I've felt this before but... not in a very long time. Like I've always loved him but we were separated separated for so long. I wonder... does he feel the same way? Most likely not. But I can't help but wonder...  
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ENTRY #20  
     Father scolded me again today. This time forbid me from doing any more research. He wants me focus all my time and energy into awakening my power. But I can't do that. My training has clearly been going nowhere, And I believe that my research can actually help me better than that can. I feel more calm and at peace, and therefore more focused when I'm out doing field work, especially when Link is at my side. But when I'm training and praying for hours upon hours on end, I get so much stress from it that it's almost impossible to focus my mind on anything. But father won't listen, he never listens. I'm not going to do what he says. Not this time. I'll have to be very sneaky about it though. I will only tell Link and maybe Urbosa.   
       I wish that was the only thing Father had scolded me about. But he also added that people actually say things about me. That I'm a disappointment, a failure. He didn't have to say that... I already know that I am. I don't need to hear it from other people. But that's not the worst part if it. I was also humiliated in front of Link. He was with me at the time. I wonder if Link sees me as that too now...  
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ENTRY #21  
    I don't know what to feel right now... I have so many mixed emotions and I feel like I'm going to go insane! Anger, sadness, love, anxiety, it's so much... A conversation I had with Link today revealed a lot of information about himself that changed everything.  
     It was near the end of the day and we were making our way back to the castle. He had not spoken much all day until now.  
      "Hey uh... I'm sorry about what happened yesterday... When the king was angry with you." He said softly.  
      "Sorry? For what? It wasn't your fault." I said.  
       "I feel like should have done something..." He replied  
        I looked at him puzzled, "Done something? What could you have done? If you had done anything to defy the king you could have been severely punished! Besides it's not like this is the worst he's ever scolded me anyways."   
       "I know... I just hate it when he yells at you... He shouldn't say things like that to you. You're his daughter, he should treat you with more respect than that."   
        This answer shocked me. Usually no one who works for the kings would NEVER dare to speak that way of him!   
        He continued, "I know how it feels, my father would do that to me all the time. All he cared about was knight training. He rarely let me socialize with other children growing up, I wasn't allowed to go to school, he tried to train me to get rid of all my emotions, tried to depersonalize me. But I didn't want that. Because thats exactly what he did, and he became cold and heartless. I didn't want to be like that too so instead of getting rid of my emotions I just stopped expressing them outwardly and kept them inside. But sometimes they'd slip out and when they did... Goddesses one time he got so angry with me I thought... I thought he was going to kill me..." It was getting harder for him to speak, but he tried his best to continue, "I'm not sure if... if he even saw me as his child. I think just saw me as a weapon. He signed me up for the military when I was only thirteen. I thought the beatings I took from my old man was bad but the other soldiers would just... They... They had no patience for children, even though I was already highly trained at the time they refused to treat me as one of their own. They'd torment me, hit me, one of them even broke my hand once. And he was there... he saw it all. And he did nothing. He didn't care about me. I was so lonely... I couldn't even talk to Mipha that often anymore, I was forced to spend most of my time training. I was always terrified on the inside. But I had no choice, I had to carry on my family's name or I would be disowned, abandoned. And it was my only purpose...."   
    Our horses had come to a complete stop, and there was a moment of dead silence. And then he spoke again, his voice starting to break as he tried his best to keep himself from shedding a tear, "And then I pulled that sword... To tell you the truth, at first I was terrified. All of a sudden the entire kingdom was depending on me. And I'm still terrified. But... But then you were kind to me. I thought you'd hate me but you didn't. Well... maybe you did at first and I don't blame you for that, but that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is... You make me not feel so lonely anymore. I finally have someone I can talk to regularly, even though it's really hard for me sometimes. It makes my job of protecting you seem less like something I have to do and more like something I actually want to do for once. I want to protect you. So when I see your father treating you in any similar way to how my father treated me... I just... I get so angry, it's hard to keep my emotions in check..." Link looked down and bit his lip, "I'm sorry... I've never told anyone that much about myself, not even Mipha. But for some reason I'm just so much more comfortable around you."  
      I was at a loss for words. He was hurting so much. Someone had hurt him. Someone had hurt my knight. His father hurt him so deeply, even my own father would never go that far. No one... NO ONE should hurt him! I'll never let anyone hurt my knight again! He's so gentile and kind, he didn't deserve this, not any of this! He deserved to have a normal childhood, he deserves to be able outwardly express his emotions, he deserved to be loved. I wanted to tell him so badly, tell him how much he's loved, how deeply I actually care for him. I wanted to hold him.   
       Link spoke again in a very quiet voice "Please forgive me... I was holding that in for so long that I... I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anythi-"  
      "Link..." I stopped him, "It's okay... If we survive Ganon, I'll make sure your father NEVER hurts you again. I'll even make sure he never lays eyes on you again if you wished it of me, I'll even throw him into prison if I have to!"  
    "P-Princess! There's no need for that! Although I... I appreciate you looking out for me..." Link said surprised by my sudden outburst of anger towards his father, “I don't hate him. He may be unkind but he still fed and clothed me. Well most the time anyways... It's weird... I know he's bad for me but I can't seem to hate him. Although he was harsh he was all I ever knew for the majority of my life." Link looked at the ground and started fiddling with his earring again.  
     I hate to admit it but I knew exactly how he felt. I still love my father even though he pressures me, calls me things that hurt, and sometimes even gives me panic attacks, I still love him. But that didn't make me feel any less angry. Link's father never deserved him and I pray to all the gods he gets a fitting punishment for hurting my knight.   
       Link continued, "Besides, being a soldier is the only thing I really know. I don't know what else I would do. And I'm also expected to carry on my bloodline and train the next generation. I don't think I could do it though. I could never put a child through something like that, let alone my own. I... I don't want kids. Maybe I would if I wasn't forced to train them but if I don't I know my father will train them instead and I can't let that happen..."  
         My heart was breaking for my knight. I wish I knew what to say but I all I could do was look at him with pity. I thought to myself, "I would never let that happen to his children. Especially... Especially if they were mine too. If he did ever agree to marry me I would have the power to make sure his father never even meets them. I could protect them, including Link. Right then I decided “That's it! I'll do it! After Ganon is destroyed I'll ask him to marry me so I can keep him safe, so that he can finally be free. We could both be free. We'd still have to wait until we both turn eighteen so we could legally get married but that doesn't matter. However if he declines, I will respect his decision. I don't want to force him into this. He's been forced into doing things against his will enough throughout his life." My thoughts were running wild with plans to keep my Link safe from harm. But shortly after I found out that all of those plans were for nothing when Link spoke again.  
      "And he's probably going force to marry some guy I don't even know too..."   
       "Guy? Why would your father make you marry another man if he wants you to continue the bloodline with biological children?" I asked confused.  
       Link froze. A look of embarrassment flashed across his face, "Oh... I'm sorry I... Shit... I'm sorry I never told you... I guess I was too scared of what you'd think of me but I'm..." His face was bright red and and he was yanking on his earring almost as if he was trying to rip it out.   
       "I'm a girl..." Link said shyly.  
       "Wh-What?" I asked astonished.  
       "Well I uh... Not really... Well yes actually a little? It's really really hard to describe. I'm a girl but I just prefer to present myself as male most the time... I don't think theres anything wrong with being a girl I just... I don't feel like one. At least most the time I don't..." Link was struggling to find the words to describe what he felt, "Oh honestly I don't know what I am..." He added with a sigh.  
        "But... You have to be a boy! I mean, you do look feminine but you clearly are a boy. Your chest is flat and your voice doesn't sound like a girl's." I said in disbelief.  
         "Well my voice has always been a bit deep for a girl's I guess. And as for my chest, that's actually kind of a funny story. You see last year I injured my chest once during training and when Mipha healed me my chest just sorta... went flat? It was weird and neither of us have any idea how or why it it happened but I'm actually kinda glad it did. I was so uncomfortable with all that er... "extra tissue" on my chest."   
            "Oh..." was all I could say.   
            "Princess?" He asked nervously.  
            "Yes, what is it?" I asked. I was so shocked that I couldn't decide what kind of emotion to express. So didn't express any.  
             "You don't... see my any differently now do you? You aren't mad at me for not telling you?" He answered.  
              "No, of course not. We should keep going now, it's getting late." We then continued back to the castle. We did not speak for the rest of the evening.  
         I was telling the truth, I'm not mad at Link. I don't care what gender he (or she?) is. I still love him the same as I did before. But I am upset. Very upset. I'm upset with myself for falling in love, for letting myself get so close to him. Because now I can never be with him. I can't protect him. Like Link, I have the responsibility of continuing my bloodline. If I cannot produce children with the person I choose to marry than I cannot marry them. And I'm also angry. Angry that my Link was hurt so badly, angry with myself for not being able to help him. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. When I do marry I'll have no choice but to let my father choose a suitor and live in a loveless marriage. I can't imagine myself falling in love with another person after Link. I don't want to try and find anyone else! I can't just force myself to fall out of love with him! I hope whoever his father chooses for him is good to him at least. It's the least he deserves.  
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ENTRY #22   
     I cried myself to sleep last night. Certainly not the first time this has happened and it most likely will not be the last. And I woke up feeling tired and emotionally drained. And to make matters worse, the royal poet came up to me today and confessed that he was in love with me! Really?! Now?! He could not have possibly picked a worse time for him to tell me that! And I barely even know him! I had to politely reject him and told him that I was already in love with someone else. Even though I know I can never be with Link, I am certainly not over my love for him and honestly I don't think I ever will be. The poet seemed disappointed but understanding. So he left me in peace and has not spoken to me since.   
      I feel no resentment to the poet however. Why should I? He has never crossed me and he is always very polite to me. I'd even say that I somewhat admire him for his amazing sill. He's the best poet in hyrule and he's only in his late teens which is quite an impressive feat. He even already has his own little apprentice. A young rito chick. His name is Kass I think? I haven't seen him around too much but he's a sweet child. Sometimes he'll play with Mipha's younger brother Sidon whenever she brings him over to the castle.   
      Children... I wonder what it would be like to raise children with Link. I've personally always been fond of children. And I feel like Link would be good with kids. He has a lot of patience and a very calming presence. I wish I wasn't royalty. I wish I was commoner so I didn't have to continue the goddess bloodline and I could just run away with Link and adopt a family. We could live out in the country. We could go on adventures together.   
I need to stop. I need to stop thinking about this... It's never going to happen.  
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ENTRY #23   
     I still interact with Link the same as I did before. I tried to distance myself from him but I could't bring myself to do it. I'm still teaching him sign language too. But he's been learning it so fast that pretty soon he may not need me to teach him anymore. I'm very glad for him but at the same time it makes me a bit sad because I do enjoy teaching him very much.   
      Link also tried to show me a "cool trick" today. And I guess Link's definition of "cool trick" is "incredibly dangerous act of stupidity" because what he did was jump on his shield and tried to surf it down a hill, hitting a rock along the way sending him soaring through the air! He wasn't hurt too badly and he just laughed it off but I didn't find it funny at all. Okay... maybe it was abut amusing but he could have gotten seriously hurt! I couldn't bring myself to scold him though.  
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ENTRY #24   
       The dream I had last night was awful. I'm hoping it was just a nightmare and not a vision. But it just felt so real... It was so awful that it's almost hard for me to even write about it. He was dying... I was holding him in my arms, trying to keep him awake. I failed him. I couldn't save him. There was fire everywhere, everything seemed to be soaked in blood, I could see the light fading from his eyes. I was losing him, I was losing my Link. And then I woke up in a cold sweat screaming for him. And before I knew it he had already kicked down my door and ran to my aid. It was such a relief to see him. The dream had felt so real I thought I had actually lost him! Without a second thought I pulled him close to me. I held on to him for dear life. I buried my face into his neck sobbing uncontrollably.   
           "Shhhhh... It's okay. Everything is going to be okay, I'm here now." He whispered to me softly as he gently rubbed my back, "It's okay, it's okay..."  
         Impa suddenly frantically burst through the door, "Zelda! What happened what's going on?!"   
          Link was too scared to speak in front of someone else so he used the sign language I taught him, "Nightmare" he signed. Although I may have made it difficult for him to do since I was clinging on to him so tightly. But Impa seemed to understand.   
           "Oh my. Poor child..." She said sypathetically. "Link, I can take this from here, you can go back to your room n-"  
            I abruptly cut her off by screaming, "No! No! Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!"   
            Link couldn't say anything so he just held me tighter as if he was telling me that he wasn't going anywhere.  
            "Shhh shhhh calm down Zelda it's okay! I won't make him go anywhere if you don't want him to." My caretaker spoke, "Would you like me to sing you your lullaby?"  
         As childish as it seems, I said yes. She always sings me that lullaby when I have nightmares and it always calms me down. My mother would also sing it to me before she died.   
          Impa began to sing me the lullaby and before I knew it I was fast asleep. When I had awoke this morning I found that Link was still holding me, but he had also fallen asleep. And Impa was still there to, although unlike Link, she was wide awake still watching over me to make sure my nightmare did not return.  
           I awoke with my head rested on top of Link's chest and I could hear the soothing sound of his heartbeat. Then I realized he was in his pajamas! I blushed, he must have been asleep when I had the nightmare and my screaming woke him up and he ran into my room without bothering to change.   
          "You slept a long time." Said Impa, "You should probably start getting ready for the day before your father comes in here and starts nagging you. Plus, I don't think he will have a pleasant reaction to finding a boy sleeping in bed with you."   
          I didn't want to get up. It felt so nice sleeping next to the one I loved. And this would most likely be the last time it would ever happen in my life. But I had to get up. Reluctantly, I began to sit up. But then Link's eye began to open and looked straight into mine. His hair was undone and messy, and his cheeks were it's usual rosy color, which then turned red when he saw me looking down from on top of him. None of us moved though. Goddesses he looked so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off him! My heart was beating so fast I felt that it might explode! I then decided right at that moment, that I didn't care what the rule was, I was going to ask this boy to marry me. I would find some other unconventional way to have biological children. It may unorthodox and my father would have a fit but I don't care. If I have to seek out every scientist in Hyrule to find a way for us to produce children I will, If I have to seek out every great fairy in hyrule to find a way for us to produce children I will, even if I have to have children with another man who is willing I will (which I would of course discuss with Link if it ever came to that), and even if I have to go up to the gods themselves and demand a child from them I will! As long as I get to spend the rest of my days with the one I loved most instead of some suitor I have no feelings for. But now the issue remains... Does Link feel the same for me?   
     My thoughts were then interrupted by Impa, "Hey now lets try to control the teenage hormones at least until I leave the room!"   
     Embarrassment suddenly struck me like an octorock hitting my face with a rock. And no doubt Link probably felt the same way.  
      "N-No that's not-" I tried to explain.  
      Impa chuckled, "Oh sweetheart I was just teasing! Now come on, it really is time to get up."  
     We both finally got out of bed and Link finally went back to his room, as much as I hated seeing him go.   
_____________________________________________ENTRY #25

 

     Today I decided to talk to Impa about my nightmare. I told her the details and I also told her that like my dream of flying through the sky with Link, I both did and didn't feel like the same person at the same time. And I also felt the same for Link, although I did not actually tell her about the flying dream, I was afraid it might tip her off that I was in love with my knight.   
      She told me not to worry about it too much. It could have been from all the stress and anxiety I've been feeling, along with the fact that Ganon's power might be getting stronger and it could be causing some people to have intense nightmares, and that there have been reports of people in the castle having them too, including Impa herself. Which as odd as it sounds, was a bit comforting. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Link in real life.   
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ENRTY #26   
       Mipha has been acting strange lately and not only have I noticed it but the other champions have as well. Usually she's much more chipper, even though she has the tendency to be shy at times. But recently she seems a lot more dreary. And she doesn't socialize with the other champions as much as she used to. She may be shy, but she's really the one who brought us together friendship-wise. Everyone seems to get along with her, including Revali who usually doesn't get along with anybody! But now even Link can't get her to open up. In fact, I think she looks the most depressed when she's around Link. Did they get into an argument or something? No, that's unlikely. Link doesn't know why she's been acting this way either. And when I tried to ask Mipha what was wrong she just told me it was nothing. It's obvious that's she's lying though. Actually now that I think about it, she seems to be avoiding me as well as Link more than the other champions. Well whatever it is, I sure hope she feels better soon.  
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ENTRY #27  
       I wouldn't call myself a lustful person. Although I would be lying if I said I've never thought about sex because after all I am a teenager. But it was never something I've actually focused a lot on. I am educated about it for the most part (Impa gave me "the talk" years ago.) But I guess I just never took time to think about things like sexual identity or what kind if things I'm "in to". And I've never gone out and "hooked up" with other teenagers overnight neither have I ever had the desire or opportunity to. I guess it could have something to do with my upbringing seeing how until now I've rarely interacted with people my own age, or maybe it just takes me a little bit longer for me to feel sexual attraction than it does for most others.  
        That being said, I've never really imagined myself actually in act of... er... you know... Until recently. It's actually kind of embarrassing to talk about, even though I know it's apparently normal, especially for someone my age. I mean, like, I should have seen this coming... Seeing how hard I've fallen for Link, I was bound to start thinking about him in that way eventually. Especially since if he does agree to marry me I'd have to have children with him (even though I have no idea how that would work out). How would we even.... "do it" in the first place? Impa may have educated me but she mainly educated me on the basics like reproduction and "urges". Not... things like this... Maybe I could ask Urbosa? She's probably been with lots of other women I could imagine. In fact I don't think she's ever even tried dating men. Does... Link even qualify as a woman? I wouldn't care if he did but I do feel kind of feel bad referring to him as one. He clearly prefers being referred to as a male so I try to respect that. But that still doesn't change the fact that "certain activities" would be different for us.   
     UUUUGHH this is so awkward to talk about! Even in my own personal diary where I'm SUPPOSED to talk about things I don't want to talk about I find it awkward to talk about. And not to mention how incredibly inappropriate it must be to be having these thoughts about my appointed knight. I don't know... Maybe it's because these feelings are all so new? Maybe it's because I never thought I'd actually ever want to do it for love? After all, up until recently I've always thought that I'd just let my father pick someone for me to marry.   
      The first time I imagined me and Link er... "together" was last night. I was tired and because of that it was easier to let my mind wander. At first I was just thinking about things that were relatively tame. Like how nice it would be to kiss him and nibble on his neck and run my fingers through his hair, and then before I knew it my thoughts got a bit more... well... you know... And in the morning I felt really ashamed about it and I felt SUPER awkward around Link for most the day. I really need to start getting my mind together. Hell, I'm probably going to regret writing any of this down tomorrow morning too. I should really just stop here before I write some other incredibly embarrassing detail.  
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ENTRY #28  
      So today I did manage to find the courage to ask Urbosa my um... "question" from yesterday's entry. She was happy to educate me but not before she laughed at me and said "told you so" when I finally admitted to her thats she was completely right about me being in love with Link.   
       I certainly don't want to get into details of what she explained but I will say I was surprised by how mature she was about explaining it. No lewd jokes or poking fun at me for being naive and confused. She just wanted to educate me and that’s it. Urbosa also apparently had already known about Link being, well for lack of a better term, "biologically female". She had over heard a guard at the castle, presumably one of Link's old co-workers, joking about it and to avoid personal information about her fellow champions being spread around she had quote on quote, "set the guard straight and made sure he kept his trap shut from now on".   
        Although Urbosa can be pretty mischievous at times and likes to playfully tease people every so often, she looks out for the other champions a lot, especially me. And I really admire her for that. She'll even look out for Revali when he's in a bind and let me just say that those two do NOT get along well. Urbosa has always been like a big sister to me and I look up to her a lot, even though she can get on my nerves from time to time.   
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ENRTY #29  
        We all had a picnic today! Link made most of the food but Daruk had to bring his own since his diet mainly consists of rocks. It was nice to have everyone together enjoying themselves. (Well mostly enjoying themselves anyways. I could see that Mipha was still feeling a bit down.) And for the first time I saw Link actually trying to communicate with his teammates using the sign language I taught him! I did however have to translate for him though because Revali and Daruk don't know sign language. And Urbosa can only understand a little. Although Revali could care less, the other champions seemed glad that Link finally had a way to communicate, especially Mipha, who for a few moments seemed her usual self before becoming depressed and anti-social again.   
       Everyone had complemented Link on his cooking and it made him blush which in turn made ME blush because GOSH is he’s so cute when he gets bashful! The rest of the afternoon was quite pleasant until Revali and Urbosa got into an argument and Daruk had to hold Urbosa back from punching Revali right in the beak. I'm not sure who started it but it was probably Revali. He has a knack for getting on people's nerves. But at the same time Urbosa should have at least tried to control her anger. She can be a bit fire-y at times. I remember back before she joined the champions she would get in a lot of bar fights. And I don't think she's ever lost one. Who in their right mind would pick a fight wit Urbosa any ways? She's 8ft tall and has biceps bigger than my head! The only people I could imagine being a match for her are gerudo soldiers, who usually have around the same build as she does. And gorons might be a match for her too, but it's very rare that you ever hear about a goron getting into a fist fight. They tend to be very mild mannered, which is ironic because they've had some mighty fierce warriors in the past. Revali definitely wouldn't have had a chance against her. He's an incredibly skilled archer but no so good when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. Plus, Rito have hollow and fragile bones, which is why most of their warriors are archers. It's a good thing Daruk held her back because Urbosa could have seriously hurt him.   
       After our little picnic the gang went their own separate ways and only Link and I were left. As much as I liked to spend time with the others, I was happy to finally have some alone time with Link. We were sitting in the tall grass looking up at the clouds when he asked me a question.  
        "Princess?" He started.  
        "Yes my knight?" I replied.  
        "Can... Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want too." He asked.  
         "Go right ahead." I said to him.  
         "Um... What... What was your mother like?" He asked.  
          Well I wasn't really expecting this question, but I answered him anyways.  
         "I didn't know her for very long. She died when I was only six years old. But from what I remember, she was lovely." I began, "She was tall and graceful, and she used to read me stories and told me legends of past heroes. Whenever I had a bad dream she would sing me my lullaby. One of the things I remember the most Bout her was how beautiful her voice was! She even made my father happy when she was alive." I think my voice may have cracked a but at the end there. It's been so long since had I really thought about mother that I guess I had forgotten how much actually truly miss her.   
        Then I questioned Link, "Why do you ask?"   
         Link looked down at the ground and started fiddled with his earring, "Oh I uh.... I just... I was just curious..." He replied.   
        Then the realization hit me. I've heard Link speak of his father but never his mother. And that was because he never had one.  
         "Link, you don't have a mother do you?" I asked sympathetically.  
         He just looked at the ground said nothing for a moment. And then he finally spoke, "She... She left when I was around four I think? I guess she just decided she had enough of pops and left us. No one knows where she went and her side of the family doesn't talk to us anymore. The only actual memory I have of her was one time when I had fallen down and hurt myself and she picked me up and comforted me." Link's face suddenly became dreary, "Sometimes I wonder... I wonder what my life would have been like if she... If she didn't leave me behind with my dad. She probably had a good reason to, I was a bit of a handful when I was little. I was real hyper and I'd wander off all the time. It must be hard enough being a single parent  already, imagine being a single parent AND having to deal with a hyperactive toddler"   
          "Hey... I'm sure it had nothing to do with you" I told him as I gently squeezed his hand.   
           There was a moment of silence. I tried to take his mind off of his mother leaving him behind by asking, "So, do you know if you share any traits with your mother?"  
           Link replied, "Well before my grandmother passed away she told me that we had the same hair and eye color. And that I also inherited her long eyelashes, but that's about it as far as looks go. Everything else I got from pops."  
        I couldn't imagine Link's father looking anything like him no matter how hard I tried. The way Link described him I always imagined him looking big and mean, not soft and pretty like Link is.   
       "And I know for a fact I got my towering hight from pops, not mom." Link said with a sarcastic laugh, "She was apparently taller than him, but then again most people are."  
       I never said it out loud but Link is pretty short. I think I may even be a few inches taller than him. Personally I find it very cute!  
       "I'm kind of the opposite" I began to share, "I'm a spitting image of my mother. I don't even look related to my father honestly. I'm not as tall as her though but who knows, I might be someday. I may still have some growing left to do."   
       "Well I have heard people say how beautiful the old queen was, I guess I can see why they thought that now." Said Link. Then his face suddenly flashed red, "I-I don't mean it like... Oh gosh I'm sorry that was really inappropriate of me!"  
       It took me a while to process what he had just said. Did Link just call me beautiful? My heart began to beat faster. and I was most likely blushing like mad. Oh my goddess my crush just told me I was beautiful.   
       "There's no need to apologize Link really!" I said, "It's okay I... I actually really appreciate the complement!" Then without thinking I said, "You don't look to bad either if I do say so myself."  
        Link blushed and his eyes widened, "Y-You really think that?" He asked surprised.  
        "Y-Yea..." I said suddenly embarrassed about what I said.  
        Link looked at the ground again and gave a soft smile, "Thank you princess..." He said in a voice so soft that it almost sounded like a whisper.  
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ENTRY #30   
      Today I punched someone. Punched em' right in the face. And I punched em' HARD. And I don't regret a second of it. I also didn't get scolded for it which was an added bonus! Well for the most part I didn't anyways. Impa did lecture me for not telling her or my father about the problem right away instead of resorting to violence and "fixing it" myself. Urbosa on the other hand was quite proud of me.   
        The "problem" was a soldier at the castle. More specifically one of Link's old co-workers. Link and I were taking a walk through the halls together when we were near the barracks and we came by a large male soldier.   
       "Well, well, well haven't seen you in a while Lakyn." Said the soldier.  
       Lakyn? Was he talking about Link? Was that his actual name? Lakyn? I guess it makes sense that Link was not his actual given name since "Link" is traditionally a boy's name.   
       Link froze as soon as he heard the soldier's voice. And it made me uneasy. The soldier didn't even acknowledge I was there, which is very odd since I'm the king's daughter. He only seemed to focus on Link.  
      "I see you cut your hair shorter. Kinda liked it better long." Said the guard.  
       Link looked very tense. Something defiantly wasn't right here and I did not care for the way the larger man was leering down at my knight. I tugged a bit on Link's arm as a way to tell him "let's get out of here" and we left immediately.   
       "What was up with him?" I asked my knight.  
        Link answered, "I had real bad experience with that guy a while back, that's all."   
         "What did he do?" I asked.  
         "It was two years ago, I'm over it now really." His voice was starting to sound shaky.  
        He was lying. I could tell. If he really was "over it" he wouldn't have reacted that was to the soldier's presence.   
         I took his hand and and held it, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb in an attempt to soothe him, "You can tell me sweetheart. It's okay." I said in a comforting voice.  
         Link bit his bottom lip and shook his head.   
        "If you can't speak you could sign it to me" I said.   
         Link gave a little nod and tried to explain it a bit more through sign language, "Remember when I told you my old co-workers weren't too nice to me?"   
         I nodded as a reply.  
        "That guy you just saw there... He used to be nice to me for a while until one time he did something to me he..." Link paused for a while.   
         "It's okay." I whispered to him softly.  
         This seemed to comfort Link enough for him to continue, "I was only fifteen at the time. That soldier, his name is Dior. He was the only one who was nice to me. I was so lonely and desperate for companionship that I'd let him talk me into almost anything. Got me into a lot of trouble, and my dad would always blame me for it. I'd got beaten because of something that guy talked me into doing more times than I can count." Link's hands were begging to tremble a bit, "The incident happened one night when he talked me into drinking and I had too much and got drunk. I didn't know what was going on at first, I wasn't right in the head at the time. I can't completely recall everything that happened but the next thing I knew he..." Link had to pause again for a moment, "Next thing I knew he was pinning against a bed by my throat. And he..." Link couldn't finish, he just couldn't. I could tell he was on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about it, "I never told my dad. He would have just beaten me for being so careless. It's my fault for listening to him in the first place anyways."  
        I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It didn't just make me angry, I was LIVID! I wanted to kill that goddamn bastard!   
        "HE DID WHAT!?" I shouted a bit more loudly than I intended to.  
        "It's not that big of a deal deal. Don't worry about me princess" He signed.  
        "Not a big deal? Not a big deal!? Not a big deal my arse! Just you let me get my hands on him I'll give that son of a bitch one hell of a beat down!" I was still shouting.  
         "P-Princess!" Was all Link could say, clearly very surprised by my sudden outburst of profanity.   
         People were taking notice to my shouting. And who else but Dior himself came out and asked "Something wrong here?"  
         I shot a mean glare at him. I pointed at him and in a voice that was so angry I'm surprised it came out of me I shouted, "YOU."  
        "Me?" He asked dumbfounded.  
        And without thinking I ran over to him and gave him a mean left hook, knocking that bastard out cold. But just before I was about to go in for another punch, I suddenly found myself lifted of the ground. It was Daruk.   
          "Princess Zelda! What are you doing?!" He asked alarmed.  
         I was struggling as much as I could to get the goron to put me down so I could continue to beat the living shit out of Dior. I didn't care that I was making huge scene, how DARE he lay a single finger on my Link!  
         Suddenly Impa had rushed in with Purrah.   
           "What the hell is going on here?" Impa exclaimed.   
           Daruk answered, "I don't know! I heard shouting and when I walked in here to see what was the matter I saw the princess beating up this guy!"  
           Then I said it, I said it loud and clear for everyone to hear, "RAPIST! HE'S A RAPIST!!!"  
            I suddenly dropped to the ground with a thud.  
            "What?! Where?! I'll show em!" Daruk shouted as he took out that huge club he always carried around with him.   
          "Woah, woah, woah, WOAH!" Impa butted in before things got ugly, "I'M going to handle this! Purrah, please escort the princess back to her room and take Link with you. And Daruk, don't let anyone leave this area until everyone here is questioned."   
           Purrah practically had to drag me back to my room. I was still furious. How could anyone do something so awful to someone as kind and gentile as Link? NO ONE deserves to be taken advantage of like that, ESPECIALLY not him.   
            Purrah sighed, "Wow you sure are a handful when you get angry like that!"   
           "Ms. Purrah, I think we might need some time alone." Link signed.  
            "Ah, okie then." Was all Purrah said before she left the room and closed the door behind her.  
             We awkwardly sat in silence for a moment. Then I heard... laughing? I turned to look at Link and saw that he was giggling.  
             "What is it? What's so funny?" I asked.  
          "You-You actually beat someone up for me! I can't believe it!" Link couldn't contain his laughter now, "I thought it was my job to beat people up for you!" Link then settled down a bit and said, "You really didn't need to do that you know, it's not like Dior can hurt me again... I really don't want you getting into trouble over me princess."   
           "Well I wasn't about to let him go unpunished for what he did for the rest of his days! And not to mention that he could be a possible danger to others as well!" I told him.  
        "I suppose your right..." Said Link.  
         I comfortingly rubbed his shoulder and said, "If we get questioned, I'll tell them what happened okay? You don't have to say anything."  
         Link just nodded.  
        "Hey I'm... I'm sorry for making such a scene." I said  
         "It's okay." Link replied. Then I heard him mutter under his breath, "Bastard deserved it anyways..."   
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ENTRY #31  
        We were questioned about what happened yesterday and I kept my word about doing all the speaking and letting Link remain silent so he didn't have to recall the trauma he went through again. Apparently everyone who witnessed me beating up Dior and every one of the soldiers, including Link's father, were questioned. And to my surprise there were a few of Link's old co-workers who actually came clean about knowing what Dior did and were "suspended from duty until further notice" for not telling anyone about what happened. (Personally if it were up to me I would have made sure they were stripped from their titles immediately.) Dior himself was detained for the time being. Usually there would be a court held for this but since we're on the brink of a war here that relies heavily on Link and I, we don't really have the time to focus on that right now. So we are very unsure with what will happen. We really have no choice but to try to ignore it at least until after we take care of Ganon (if we even survive that long that is)  
      I hoped that would have been the end of it, all that questioning had made me tired and emotionally drained. But then Link came into my room looking panicked.  
      "What's wrong sweetie? You don't look good." I asked.  
      He began tugging at his earring violently, "It's pops... He wants to see me and I don't know what to do. Dammit, I'm supposed to be the hero chosen by the Master Sword and I'm too scared to see my own dad, I'm such a coward!" He suddenly let out a yelp of pain. He had torn out his earring. It wasn't a complete tear but it was enough to draw blood.   
       "Oh my gosh! Let me get you something for that!" I exclaimed. I grabbed the first thing I could find, which was a handkerchief and some tape, "I guess this will have to do until we get Mipha to patch you up." I said. As I tried my best to treat his injured ear. I told him, "Tell you what, how about I go with you to see your father? He wouldn't dare do anything to you while I'm there."   
         "I greatly appreciate the offer but he'll just think I'm a coward for bringing you along" He replied.  
         "How about I stay out of sight until he starts getting a bit too aggressive? Then I could pretend that I was just walking by and then I saw what was going on." I proposed.  
          "That... That could work... Okay let's do that then." Link said wincing at the pain from his partially ripped ear.  
        Link and I went down to the barracks and I hid out of sight so that his father would not notice me. Link was right when he said that he looked more like his father. The man looked like a much older, more muscular, and more masculine looking version of Link. They were around the same hight too. The only other differences being that his father had greyish-brown hair, not gold like Link's. And his eyes were a dark green color and he had facial hair. I hated that. I hated that he looked so much like Link. I loved Link's features and for someone as cold and cruel as his father to share many of those features almost seemed like an insult.  
      Link was completely stone-faced around his father. He didn't even move a muscle unless he was told to.   
      "Lakyn." Said the man, his voice sounding much deeper and much more intimidating than Link's. He took noticed to Link's crudely bandaged ear, the blood was already starting to seep through fabric of the handkerchief, "What the hell happened to your ear?"   
       "I tore out my earring sir. On accident" Link replied trying to speak as formally as he could.   
        His father sighed deeply, "Stupid girl, how many times have told to quit playing with those damn earrings!"   
        Link remained with an emotionless expression his face but I knew that inside he was scared of him. I wanted to reveal myself right there but I decided it was better to wait until things got really bad in order to avoid embarrassing him.  
          "Do you have any idea what kind of hell you caused for me yesterday? All because you couldn't keep your stupid trap shut! You made me and the rest of the soldiers look like an embarrassment! Goddamnit girl, do you have any idea how bad it looks on me when everyone finds out that one of my soldiers is a damn pedophile?! If you had just kept your trap shut no one would have had to know and we would have all been fine going about the rest of our lives but no, you had to rat out Dior and get us all in trouble in the process! What the hell were you thinking Lakyn?!"  
         Link didn't say anything.  
       "Answer me girl!" His father shouted harshly.   
       "It just... It just slipped out sir." Was all Link could say.  
        "It just slipped out!?" The man sounded furious, "You really are an idiot you know that! Why in Hylia's name did that sword let you pull it?! If it weren't for the fact you were the princess's appointed night I would have REALLY beat some sense into you! I swear, if you somehow manage to survive Ganon you won't be alive for much longer because I'm going t-"  
      "EXCUSE ME!" I shouted as a came out of my hiding place. I had heard quite enough of this verbal abuse.  
      Without hesitation the man kneeled at my feet, "Y-Your highness! I was not expecting you!"   
        "I do not appreciate you threatening my appointed knight!" I scolded, "If this happens again I'll make sure to it that my father strips you of your title for good! Do you understand me?" Of course I'm not actually sure if my father would do that if I asked him, but it seemed to convince Link's father.  
        "I promise it won't happen again your highness". He said nervously.  
        "Good." I said to him sternly, "Come along now knight, we have things to do."   
         We headed out into the hallway and Link thanked me for standing up for him via sign language. Chewing out Link's father felt so good! That will show him to speak so cruelly to my Link! Now he'll never speak that way to him again and if he does I'll make damn sure he gets hell for it!  
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ENTRY #32   
    The exact thing I was trying to avoid happened today. I got a little too close, I didn't watch myself this time and I let my emotions take control.  
     Link and I were back at the castle after a long day of research and training. Mipha had healed Link's ear but in doing so it sealed up his piercing so he had re-pierce that ear. We decided to just get it over with today and do it ourselves. To my surprise Link was a much bigger baby about it than I thought he'd be. This boy can take a lynel breaking his jaw but getting his ear pierced is what freaks him out. Who would have guessed.  
         "I just... I don't like having to stay still while sharp objects are near my head." He said.  
        "Oh the needle isn't even that big, now quit your fussing! Haven't you done this before?" I said slightly annoyed.  
        "Well yea, but it was years ago and I had HOPED I'd never have to do it again!" Link fussed, "Just at least be careful not to miss okay?"  
        "Oh come on, it's not like I'm going to jam it inside your ear! Don't you trust me?" I said as I was getting ready to poke the needle through his earlobe.  
        "Well mistakes can happen! And I rely a lot on my ears to listen for danger and stay alert and I can't afford get my hearing damaged!" He complained.  
       "My goddess Link! You are being almost as whiny as Revali when he gets his feathers slightly ruffled up!" I said as I was trying to hold back a laugh, "Besides I'm already done!"  
       "W-What?" Link asked looking confused.  
       "Yea, while you were complaining like a child I pierced you ear. Now that wasn't so bad now was it?" I said with a smirk.  
       Link looked embarrassed and bit his bottom lip.   
        "Oh Link, you can be so silly sometimes!" I said as a playfully nudged him, which made him blush.  
       I put some disinfectant on the new hole and put the earring he had torn off yesterday back on.  
       "Good as new!" I said as a admired my work.   
       "Thank you princess, I wouldn't have been able to that myself." Link spoke softly.  
       "Now make sure that your careful with how hard you tug on your earrings from now o-" Suddenly I felt a clump of hair fall on to my face. One of my braids had come undone. It was probably because I had done my hair this morning. Usually Impa helps me braid my hair but today she was busy so I had to do it myself. And whenever I try to do it the braids come out out sloppy and come undone easily.   
       "Great..." I muttered to myself.  
      Link let out a little giggle. Then he made an offer, "You know, I could probably fix that. I sometimes wear braids myself. I may not be able to do it as well as Impa can but I think I can find a way to at least keep your hair out of your face. It's the least I could do in return of you helping me out with re-piercing my ear."  
        "Oh... sure, thank you." I said.  
        Link leaned in closer to me and undid my other braid so he could redo both of them correctly. When he started touching my hair I could feel my face and ears getting red and my heart began to race. His face had never been so close to mine before.   
       "Your hair is so soft, it feels like silk!" Link complemented as he combed his fingers through my hair to straighten it out.  
        This only made me more flustered. My breathing was started to get harder, I had try to my best to stay calm. His touch was so gentile and it made me want to melt in his arms. At one point his hand accidentally brushed against my cheek, I almost felt like fainting. I had to tell him. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to tell him now. I was so in love with him and I just couldn't keep it a secret from him any longer.  
        "Link..." I said in a breathy voice.   
        Link turned his focus from my hair to my fave and our eyes locked. He froze and didn't say anything. We just gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. His eyes were so beautiful I felt that I could get lost in them for an eternity. I leaned in closer to him, I took his hands into my own and held them.   
        "Link..." I said again, barely even whispering this time.  
        "Yes princess..." Link whispered without breaking eye contact.   
         I leaned in even closer, and he did the same.   
         "I need to tell you something..." I said.   
         Link leaned in closer again, now our foreheads were touching. I could feel him squeezing my hands, "Yes, go ahead."  
        Our lips were so close together, I wanted to kiss him so badly. In that moment it felt like were the only people in the world. Like there was no pain, no anxiety, no suffering in the world, just us. The feeling was new yet at the same time it felt somewhat familiar. As if we were lovers in a past life and have finally been reunited. Could that actually be the case with us? Have we been soulmates all along? The longer I gazed into his eyes the more familiar they felt.   
       One of my hands let go of his and I began stroking his hair. It really was as soft as I had imagined. Link's now free hand began to caress my cheek. "My goddess he might actually feel the same way..." I thought to myself. I could see it in those gorgeous eyes of his. I wonder if he could see it in my eyes as well. Something inside me started to grow. It felt so strong. Was it my divine power finally awakening? At the time I could have sworn it was. I was about to say it. I was ready to tell him now.  
         "Link... Link I-"   
      I never got to finish that sentence. Because before I could, I heard a loud booming voice.  
       "ZELDA BOSPHORAMUS HYRULE."  
       That voice was unmistakeable. It was my father. We both looked towards where the voice was coming from to see Father standing at the door frame with Impa, who was looking at me with pitying expression on her face. I couldn't believe this was happening. I got caught at the absolute worst time possible by that last person I wanted to get caught by.   
          I clung on to Link. I didn't say anything. What could I have said anyways? There was no possible way to save us from the situation I got ourselves in. All I could do was look at my father with pleading eyes as if to say "please don't do this. Just let me have this, PLEASE just let me have this."  
        "Zelda. Please come to my office immediately." My father said in a stern voice. He then looked over at Link, "And I'll deal with you later."  
        At first I refused to move, and I just clung on to Link tighter.   
         "NOW Zelda!" He shouted at me harshly.  
         It scared me into finally obeying. The lecture ended up turning into a heated argument. I wasn't going to let him have this one, no matter what he said.   
         "What exactly were you thinking?! Do you have any idea how wildly inappropriate your behavior was?" He asked harshly.  
         "I don't care..." I muttered under my breath.  
         "Excuse me young lady! What was that you just said to me?!" He said angrily.  
          I had HAD IT at this point, "I said I don't care dammit I don't care!" Yelled.  
         My father looked at me shocked. Usually I wouldn't dare ever yell at him. But at the time I wasn't thinking straight. I was far too upset to think straight.  
         "I'm in love with him! And I don't care what you say! You may be king, you may have control of the entire kingdom, but the one thing you'll never control is how I feel!" I was shouting even louder now and I could feel hot tears begin to run down my face, "You can't control how I feel about him..." I was stuttering between sobs.   
        "Zelda..." Father said with an exasperated sigh, "You know very well that you cannot be in a relationship right now! You can't let your emotions distract you from awakening your power!"  
         "He's not a distraction!" I attempted to argue, "And I was planning to start our relationship AFTER we defeated Ganon. I just... got a bit carried away with him today..."   
           "Zelda, you know I can't let you marry him either right?" Father said.   
            He knew already. Damn. I was hoping he didn't know. I didn't say anything and just left. I think I heard him call back for me but I didn't care. I didn't even look at Link when I passed by him down the hall. I felt too guilty to look at him I know I got him in trouble too, and I also didn't want him to see that I was crying. I made my way back to my room and made sure to lock the door. I've been in here ever since. I didn't even come out for eat supper. I wasn't even hungry anyways.  
       I hope Father was easy on Link. This wasn't his fault. And I've been feeling an immense amount of anxiety over how this will effect our relationship in the future. I hate myself so much right now. I wish I could just run away and never come back! I wish I could just forget everything and everyone! But I can't. I have a responsibility and everyone is depending on me. I have no choice but to face the consequences of my actions.  
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ENTRY #33   
      It's worse than I had imagined. Link has completely reverted back into his shell. He's acting the same exact way as he did when we first met. It's as if everything we had been through together in the past month never happened. Whenever I try to get him to speak to me he only gives short answers in a monotone voice with a completely emotionless expression on his face. What did father say to him? Did he threaten him? Scare him? What happened? I pray to Hylia that this is only temporary and our relationship will go back to usual. Although it may never be exactly the same I at least want him to talk to me again. I miss him already...  
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ENTRY #34  
    Link's behavior has not changed. Mipha even commented on it to me. She said that she's never seen him so introverted and shut out from the rest of the world before. I'm getting really worried. I don't want to lose what I had with him.   
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ENTRY #35  
   I miss him. I miss my Link. I miss talking to him, sharing stories, having picnics, telling jokes. I miss that soft toothing voice, that infectious laugh, that sweet smile. I miss how he played with his earring whenever he got anxious and how he blushed so easily. And what I miss most is his sweetness and warmth. Now he's just stone cold. As if he were a stranger. I don't know who to be more angry with. My father for making him like this or myself, who got us into this situation in the first place. I don't think I've ever hated myself as much as I do now. If I had just controlled my emotions for one moment this could have all been avoided.   
      I'm so stupid, I'm so fucking stupid! What the hell is wrong with me!? I never deserved him. I may be the future queen but I'll never be good enough for him. He deserves so much better than me.   
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ENTRY #36  
       It's been getting harder for me to focus. I've been more depressed than usual. I can't seem to get my mind clear. And on top of that I have the added anxiety of my seventeenth birthday coming up in three weeks. I'll be old enough to train at the spring of power. I think this may be my last chance to awaken my power. Nothing else seems to be working! But I'm scared. I'm so scared it won't work. Nothing ever works! It's not going to work. I'm useless, absolutely useless! I wish I could just disappear. Just stop existing and have everyone forget about me. I have to keep going though. I have to do it for my kingdom. But I don't think I'm strong enough. Even with someone as skilled and courageous as Link by my side in battle with Ganon, without my power we have no chance! Oh goddesses I'm going to have to face Ganon eventually... I'll have to face that thing. I'm so scared. What if we don't survive this? What if I get killed and can't continue the bloodline? Would father try to have another child? Can he even have another child at his age? What if Link gets killed? Some historians say that in the last battle with Ganon ten thousand years ago the hero did not survive. I'm not sure if that's true but if it is... If Ganon could kill one hero it could certainly kill another. I would never be able to live with myself if I let him die. He deserves to live a long life. He's been through so much trauma that he's still healing from and he's so young. It wouldn't be fair for his life to end so shortly. I can't let happen. I can't lose my Link. I'll give my life for him if I have to.   
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ENTRY #37  
      Link still isn't communicating with me. I'm guessing that Father must of forbid him from doing so he wouldn't be a "distraction". But if anything it's doing the opposite. I felt so much more calm and level headed around him when we had a good relationship.   
      Urbosa did calm my fears a little bit today though. She came up to my room to talk with me today, she said that Impa had told her what happened and sent her to see if she could cheer me up. When she knocked at my door I was hoping it was Link at first but was admittedly a bit disappointed to see Urbosa instead. I didn't want to talk to her at first. I didn't want to talk to anyone, aside from Link if I could.   
       "Hey Zelly, heard you weren't feeling so good." She said in a comforting voice.  
        I didn't reply at first. I just walked back to my bed and sat on it.  
       Urbosa sat down on the bed next to me, "Impa told me about what happened."  
      I continued not to say anything.   
      She wrapped her arms around me and began petting me head, "It's going to be okay sweetheart."  
      I started to cry again. I hate how often I cry. I feel so weak for it.  
       "I'm sure he still loves you Zelly. He's just not allowed show it." She tried reassuring me.  
       "How do you know?" I asked a bit too harshly, "How could he after the trouble I must have caused him?"  
        "I've seen the way he looks at you. There's no doubt in my mind that that boy is crazy about you." She said.  
        "How do I know you aren't just saying that to make me feel better?" I asked her.  
        Urbosa let out a sigh, "you know, some say that the hero and the princess who stopped Ganon ten thousand years ago were in love. Now I know there's no real evidence for that but... I do remember you telling me you felt like your love for Link was familiar, almost like you loved him long ago. So I was thinking, maybe you had a past life with him?"   
         "They couldn't have been in love, they were never married." I responded.  
         "That's because they couldn't. The hero of that era was a male gerudo, which is extremely rare." Urbosa explained, "They couldn't have children because gerudo genes are always dominant and eventually the entire royal family would have become gerudo, and you know that in order to keep the goddess bloodline the royal family must be mostly hylian."   
         That had never occurred to me before. I can't believe I never thought of that! If that's the case then... Then maybe Link and I really did have a past life together! Or maybe not even just one past life. That dream where we were flying the loftwings... Could that have actually been a memory? A memory from an ancient past life? My mind was running wild with ideas! But if we did have past lives, why? I know that every few thousand years the blood of the Goddess and the spirit of the hero must come back to fight evil. Everyone knows that. But I thought it was mostly just a metaphor. Did it actually mean we were being reincarnated over and over again? Wait, would that mean I could be a reincarnation of... No. That's ridiculous. I couldn't possibly be Hylia herself. I would have awakened my powers long ago if that were the case. And I would be much stronger than I am. I'm just weak. I couldn't possibly be a goddess. If I did really have past lives I'm probably the reincarnation of an ancient ruler but I couldn't possibly go as far back as to be Hylia. Could I? But either way, if we have had past lives was most certainly in love with Link at least a few times.   
       "You okay there Zelly?" Urbosa asked, breaking my thoughts.  
       I said nothing but hugged her tightly. Urbosa returned my embrace and kissed my forehead.  
       "It's going to be alright kiddo." She spoke softly, "Just you see, it's going to be alright."  
       And for a moment, I actually thought it would be. If Link really was my soulmate then maybe, just maybe we still had a chance together.  
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ENTRY #???  
     I don't remember much of what happened before the great calamity one hundred years ago. I can't remember anything of the life I had before. I can't remember my family at all, I really hope that all of my memories will return someday, or at least most of them will. Purrah said that I just need to give it time and they'll come back eventually but I'm still anxious about it. But if there is one thing I do remember, it's Zelda. I remember her kindness, I remember her dazzling green eyes and her beautiful smile. And most of all, I remember how much I loved her.   
     Even though I didn't want to admit it at the time, I had fallen for her since day one. I tried not to, honest. But she's just so irresistible! So so beautiful! So intelligent! So cute!!! I love everything about her! When I first woke up from my hundred year nap I had absolutely no memory of Zelda whatsoever. But as soon as I heard her voice speaking to me I could sense familiarity and warmth. Her voice was so soothing to me but at the time I had no idea why. Then when I started to regain my memories a little bit, the feeling got stronger. Then eventually I remembered "Oh yea... I'm in love with this girl." I think she even beat someone up for me once? I can't really remember the reason why but I do remember that it was freakin' awesome!   
     When I saved her from Ganon, I was so scared that she would turn into mist like the monks in the shrines did. But to my relief she was still well and alive. How did she do it? Stay that strong for a hundred years? I was at least asleep during that time. But not her, no she was awake the entire time, fighting that thing. Goddesses, I couldn't begin to imagine what she's going through. She still has nightmares about it, and when she does I'm always there to comfort her. I'll never let anything happen to her again, not over my dead body! (And if I didn't Urbosa would probably come back from the grave and kick my ass.)  
      But enough of the sad stuff. Today was pretty great. I had already known the way that Zelda really felt for me. Kass told me about it. Apparently his teacher, the royal poet, sorta figured it out himself and told Kass who told me. I kinda wish he didn't though because I would have much rather have heard it come from Zelda herself. But at the same time I'm glad too. I was worried that my feelings were one-sided so learning that they weren't was a big relief to me. But still, I wanted to hear it from Zelda anyways. (Although I really don't know what that girl sees in me. Because lets be honest here, I'm kind of a huge dweeb. But hey I'm not complaining.)  
      I was planning to tell her I felt the same way today. I prepared a little picnic for us, like I used to do. I don't know why I was so nervous really. I already knew she felt the same way. But I was still super anxious to tell her! All I had to do was just say it but still I was struggling to speak. Damn speaking disorder, always creeps up on me on the worst times!   
       Zelda had noticed my silence and commented, "Are you feeling alright Link? You're very quiet."  
      I couldn't say anything so I just held her hand. But even doing that was a bit nerve racking.  
      Then she asked, "Do you remember the sign language I taught you? You may not remember the lessons I gave you but you may subconsciously remember how to actually use it."  
      And I was like: Wait, she was the one who taught me how to do that? This whole time I've just been using sign language like it's second nature or something. I use it whenever I have to have long conversations with people I don' know well. It makes it much easier to communicate when I'm anxious or uncomfortable about socializing. I'll have to thank Zelda for teaching me later.  
        "Yes." I signed in reply.  
       "Oh good! I was worried that you might have forgotten." She said.  
       I tried to gather up the courage to start telling her, "I need to tell you something" I signed.  
       "Yes Link? What is it?" She looked at me and asked.  
        I froze up. I was so nervous that I couldn't even sign it. But then I got an idea.  
       "Close your eyes." I signed.  
      "Okay..." She complied.  
      Then I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.   
      She was silent for a moment and I was worried that I might have gone a bit too far. But then she said, "You missed."  
      "What?" I signed, not sure what she meant at first.  
       "You missed. My lips are over here silly." Then she pulled me in and kissed me.   
      This was happening. This was ACTUALLY happening! My soul felt like it was on fire and my entire body was trembling with excitement! Her lips were so soft and her hair smelled like flowers! Her fingers were running through my hair and along my back, her touch made my body shiver. I didn't know what to do with my own arms so they just sorta stayed awkwardly at my side.   
      When we broke away from each other I wanted to kiss her again right away, but I didn't want to rush things so instead I just embraced her.   
     Then I finally managed to say it, "I love you Zelda." I whispered in her ear.  
     "I love you too Link." She whispered back.  
      The we kissed again. This one being longer and deeper. For the rest of the afternoon we sat just there loving each other, not having a care in the world. We've been through so much and we've had to hide our feelings for so long, we deserved a break for once.  
       I'm not sure what the future holds for us, but I do know that it definitely won't be easy. We've lost so much, almost everyone we once knew is gone, and we have to bear so many painful memories (and I have ones that I still need to remember) Where do we even go from here? Will we even be able to get married? I can't have children with her and she knows that. Although she seems determined to find a way, even though I'd have no idea how she'll be able to accomplish that. We may be heroes who saved the world but make no mistake, in the end we're just two terrified kids who have no idea what we're doing.   
       But... I'm sure we'll find a way. No matter what happens we'll still have each other. And as long as we have each other we'll make it through. It's going to be alright. It may not happen now, or in a few months, or maybe not even in a few years, but eventually everything going to be alright. As long as I have my Zelda and she has her Link, we'll be okay.


End file.
